some nights

there are nights that you just can't sleep

no reasons, apparently

no sadness, no bad omens

just eyes, that won't shut close

other nights, you feel alive

with less noise, and high pulses

wide waking at three in the morning

but some nights you find peace

amidst everything; the crying

there are also nights when you feel weak

restless and anxious

like the world has turn

and all is left is you and you alone

some nights, time seems too fast

like every ticking sound make

seems hasty as your heartbeat

last night was different although

it was sad, and everything paces really slow

but of all nights i've had

i fancy those filled with undying silence

i lay there motionless, still

and nobody seems to care where i've been

these are the nights worth dreaming

for they are reminders, the least

that even the heartbreaking silence

and tragic scenes, most

are to be gone by morning

Found some Baguio Snaps last year

You are the one i want to be with-even on boring days

There's going to be boring days. There's going to be moments we'll spent together where we'll conveniently kill time and just lay barren and plain. I can't promise that all of our days will be fun, colorful and vibrant. There's going to be grey days and faded afternoons. We'll spend the day dozing off, mostly in the sleepiest tones. We'll feel very low and silence may happen. But it won't mean anything, it will just be comfortable. It's the kind of securing silence where our hearts would not feel worried or anxious. There's going to be days where we just feel neutral. And I have accepted that alongside our relationship. Because I have sworn to myself that I'll see through those days and I will not fuss how we're done with our honeymoon stage; our chases. There is a beauty in comfortability; there's a beauty in just being with you in the most lame Sunday afternoon. After all, these things will not get in the way of my love for you. For my love sees through safe zones, my love for you are beyond boundaries of stagnancy, it is versatile. And I will promise to love you in our brightest and in our monochromes. So here's to the coming lazy afternoons, little talks and silent smiles.

Let's Go

You've erased the worst parts of my past. I am in love with you and your everything. I am in love with the simplicity of loving you and I vow to trust what I know-for all I know now is that I love you.

A little reminder

I need to trust myself more. I need to take care of myself more and prove that I am nobody's responsibility. I need to say my "I can's" in this world of "I wish". I need to release what's inside me in order to let myself out of worries and unsolicited dark thoughts. I need to trust the process of everything;to learn how to wait and explore what's inside every path. I need to be with myself more often and stop depending with other's terms, thoughts and feelings. I need to be me. I need to have the courage to do the things that I am capable. I need to find the me in this insanity. I need to suffice the insatiable thoughts running through my mind. I need to be in solitude. I need to be myself and trust that they will love me with all of that. I need to burn the sorrows of the past and the fears of the future. I need to be in the now. I need to be myself all the time, and that includes the times when I'm too disappointed with myself. I need to trust myself.

Para sa'yo

Wala na akong alam, wala na akong ibang aalamin, dahil ang pinaniniwalaan ko na lamang ngayon ay ang mga salitang "Mahal na mahal kita, walang ng iba pa." Sa bawat umaga na nasasanay akong unang bati mo ang mga nakikita, sa mga gabing tinatapos natin ng matatamis na palitan ng mga katagang "Mahal kita." Pinipilit kong pisilin ang magkabilang kong pisngi para magising. Nasasanay na ako sa mga bagay na matagal kong sinabi at ipinaintindi sa sarili ko na hindi maari. Nasasanay akong iniisip kita mula sa pagmulat hanggang sa paghimbing ng tulog. Nasasanay akong ikaw ang pagbalingan ng atensyon at pagmamahal. Nasasanay na akong bitawan ang mga salitang pilit kong pinagpapalit palit sa aking isipan para lamang perpektong lumabas mula sa aking bibig. Nasasanay akong ngumiti sa pagmamasid sa iyong maliliit na kilos na tila ba isang sayaw sa aking paningin. Nasasanay ako sa mga halik ng isang taong madalas ay tikom ang bibig sa nararamdaman. Pinipilit kong iiwas ang mga bagay na ito para hindi na muling masaktan kung dumating man ang mga pagbabago. Ngunit, dinulot mo sa akin ay iba. Dinulot mo sakin ay mas higit pa sa katatakutan na muling maranasang masaktan sa pagmamahal. Dahil sa maniwala ka't hindi, ang pagmamahal mo ang yumabong sa akin para maging isang mandirigmang hindi takot ang sandata, ngunit pusong kulang na lang ay lumabas sa katawang ito at sumigaw ng isang koro. Dinulot mo sa akin ay ang mga katagang "magbago na ang lahat, pero hindi ang pagmamahal ko sayo." Hindi kinatatakutan ang pagmamahal, hindi ba't wala namang natatalo sa lubos na nagmamahal? Kaya lubos lang kitang mamahalin, kung ano man ang mangyari, iyan lamang ang sasadyain ko hanggang sa huling hangin na ilalabas ng aking hininga. "Nasasanay na akong, minamahal ka."

-Soco

That's why

Neo

If I were to compare my life right now with my life a few months back, I would definitely say that I can see now why things need to fall apart-and that is to make way for better things to happen. I tell you, nothing feels greater than having a brand new start. It's like the warmth of the first rays of the sun in an early morning of a December's day. It's greater than those crashing waves in the shore, touching the tips of your toes. For once in my life, I have felt like a testimony. I am a living proof that all shall pass through, and that you just need to endure and hold on to the instinct of being refreshed real soon. And that-perhaps is the greater feeling than winning over something. It's the undeniable feeling of joy that you have found the strength to lose all setbacks. It's the light feeling of the vanishing shackles around your limbs as you try to reach out and move forward. It's the dignity of getting over a tremendous loss and having the courage and confidence to say "I am free. I am blessed. I'm brand new, and I have never been this alive." And so looking back, I can now say that I am done with the negative chains of the past because I have seen the present. This is the real deal. And right now, I choose and forever it may take, happiness above all.

The past months have led me here.